Dating sites for singles

I was talking to a friend of mine who was thinking about joining one of those dating sites like Match.com, plenty of fish and others. She like me would not have a clue in what is good and which one is more reliable. In my opinion, joining in those sites are great but to do it with caution. I too was thinking about starting up a free dating website with hubby. This way singles can meet other singles or for people to go in and chat about whatever.

I am hoping to offer people a fun atmosphere to hang out and chat and hopefully meet the love of their life. If not then at least they had fun trying.

Finding a way to make marriage work

I found a way that work for us (me and my hubby). We are making our marriage last. We have built our relationship to be stronger than ever. I learned that through the six years of marriage that we need to have an open communication line. Instead of worrying about who will win the fight we would love each other enough to say” I am sorry”. It really does not matter who was at fault, we just have to be the bigger person to stand up and apologize. At times he would be the bigger man and do that and then there are times when I am the bigger woman. There are no winners and no looser. We are one unit as husband and wife. We learn to forgive each other for our faults. Don’t fret over the little stuff because the journey through life is long. Listen with our heart and not just with our ears.
In the beginning of our marriage like all marriages we had our share of problems. It was hard and we had our fair share of fights over small little pet pea stuff. But through the years we learned that with and open communication line we can tell each other anything. Our deepest feelings and desires to our deepest secrets. I don’t believe that there should be secrets keep from your partner or spouse. And things that happen in the past should remain there. Whenever we have a fight we would say sorry to each other no matter who is at fault we don’t point fingers. Yet we learned that we love each other more and we value each other more than those petty fights. Sometimes we just have to be the bigger person and say sorry first no matter if we are at fault or not. We love people and use things. When it comes to each other we put materialistic things aside. The world can crumble at our feet nothing matters as long as we are together with our healthy family. We don’t fret over the little stuff.
We also learn to listen with our heart instead of just with our ears. For majority of our marriage we would listen with our ears and have things go in one and then out the other. Now we listen with our heart and care about what our partner has to say. Everything he says has value to me and vise versa. If it is important to him then it is important to me even if I don’t care crap about the object. The object is not the point of focus but our partner is. So often I have forgotten about how much we have been blessed by our Lord. And I thank Him for reminding me each time I needed some motivation to move on. With Him and my hubby our marriage will last as long as we are here on earth.

Choosing love over money

I had a conversation with one of my buddies today and it was about love or money. Which one would you choose if it came down to it. If you had to choose to find and be with the one you love would you be with him even though that means you will be living in a poor house with no family or friends? Let's say this guy lives in no man land where you would have to live if you choose to be with him...would you do it? You can contact any of your family or friends because it's to far away. Or would you choose someone who had lots of money and loves you?

It is not hard to choose if you choose from your heart. But should we make decision based only within our hearts? Or should we consult our brain as well? What would our brain tell us and why would it be different? I would like to believe that it is easy to answer but it is not. What I mean is that my final answer would to choose the one that loves me who has no money and would be away from my comfort zone. To be away from all that I know and love...but it would be a very hard decision to make. It would matter about the money part but the moving away from all that I know and love is the hardest part. I hate moving and especially moving to somewhere new is very stressful. For me, personally I see my folks and family at least four times a week so it would be extreemly hard for me to not be able to see them. The hardest decision of my life. Thank goodness I don't have to do that.

For now I am content living in my home with my loving family close to my folks and siblings. I love being in my comfort zone and being able to reach out and touch someone hehe. I love the fact that my friends are here in town and that we can call each other when we need to talk. We as human beings are social beings we need each other in order to live a happy and fulfill life, if you ask me that is. My two cent is that if to choose I would choose to be with the one I love.

Well, the above picture says it all. Ever since I had my youngest child, her older sister just can't leave her alone. She loves her very much, but sometimes a little too much, I think -- although I have to admit it's very cute to watch. PBJ loves to give Bree Bree these big, gigantic hugs (sometimes too tightly), and tops it off with sticky, wet, smothering kisses. How do your older children squish and kiss their baby siblings?

Prioritize your life and everything fall into order

I like many others, go through life day by day and hope for the best. I worried about where I live and how others view me. I love my big house (mansion called by some), love my gated neighborhood and I love my cool gadgets (computers,cameras,etc). At times it seems as though my friends come first before my own family members. What I learned now is that I didn't have my priorities straight.
People and things come and go. Family and the ones who love you will be the ones who will stay through the test of time. If you knew that you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do differently now? I know I don't live my life to the fullest like I would like to preach now. I want to tell you to live your life to your fullest and treasure those who you care for. Before my husband's wonderful loving grandmother (woman who raised him) past away, she inspired me and my husband. My husband said that Mama (what we all called grandma)told the doctor to heal her she would pay any price. She was in constant pain from her cancer, yet she fought it with her tooth and nails. She still wanted to live, not for herself but for the ones who love her dearly. If you knew that you were dying would you ask God to grant you more time to make more money, buy more stuff, or spend more time to settle your love ones? For me, I would pray and beg for more time to be spent with my family and tell them how much I love them.
Although I said that I would put my family first, do I really do that? I try my best too. I know with time I will. I still worry about giving my daughters the finer things in life. I want them to live in a big house and have all those nice toys. I want vacations, trips to any where just because, dinning out, shopping and shower my babies with stuff. I know in the end my daughters wouldn't care if we live in a hole in the wall or under a bridge as long as mommy and daddy is there with them. I know that if I given them a ball made out of toilet paper, they would have just as much fun as if I have brought them an expensive toy. What matters to my kids is that their love ones are here to protect and love them. That is the only thing that matters. To me too, deep down inside what matters is them (my family), not the materialistic things the so call stuff that fills my world. When I get sick these things will not be able to help me but my love ones can. Treat the ones who love you like royalty. If you have to choose going online, watching TV or playing with your kids, get off your butt and play with them. I preach this but still trying my very best to practice it. All though life I was taught in an Asian family where hugging and kissing was not what grown up do in front of kids or with their kids. This made it very hard for me to show affections toward my own family (my husband and kids).
From my husband and kids, I learned to love and show affections(lot of hugs and kisses). I kiss and hug my husband in front of my kids to tell them that I love my hubby aka Pbj's and Bree Bree's daddy. Hubby does a lot of things for me too, like buying flowers just because he loves me, making me coffee even though he just got home from a long commute, or giving me a massage even though his hand is in pain. Those are a few of the many loving gestures my hubby would do for me to show to me that he loves me and also to show to the girls that this is the type of man you want for a husband. We learned through our six years of marriage that when you love someone you have to have a lot of patience, give a lot of grace and open your heart to forgive.
Right now slow down, breath in and breath out. Think where you want yourself to be and how you would want to live your life. Put people first and things last. Where you live or what you have does not matter in life it is how you treat others. In your final day would you be able to bring all your stuff with you? You come into this world in your birthday suit and you will exit the same way. Imagine if you were to go tomorrow who would be there for you? If you treat others the way you would like to be treated, this world would be a better place to live. Treat people right and use things that is what my husband preach to us. I agree when you love people and use things (hubby's straight quote), everything else will fall into order. You show your kids that you take care of your mom and dad (grandparents) they then in the future will hopefully treat you right too, domino effect. Build good moral character by teaching the young ones how to prioritize their life by example.

Kissing about a million frogs but the prince is no where in sight

Done that been there, now I am here. In the past, it seem like I kissed a million slimy frogs but all I got in return were nasty, smelly toads. That shiny, glamorous prince or knight in shining armor was nowhere in sight. But, with patience and perseverance, I found my very own Prince Charming. I remember having had a little girl-talk with my friend Candy, she is such a sweet and naive girl going through some difficult times. Candy is not bad looking at all. She has high standards for choosing a guy to be her man. She dated dozens of guys, but found that they were nothing but losers. "Where," she asked, "did these lizards crawl out of? Which gutter so that I can make sure not to visit the same path again? She is getting very depressed and yes, lonely too. I know how that feels. I am sure most of you gone through some dry times yourself. Right now all she wants to do is just grab a guy, any guy will do. I guess it must be that ole biological clock ticking that is driving her.

Would you grab just any guy so that you can say you have one? That's not love, that's desperation out of loneliness. Would you marry someone just because you want to feel like you're with someone and not for love? That's desiring companionship for the sake of having someone, but it's not what you'd call love. Why not, some of you might say--others have done so in the past. In Oriental cultures, arranged marriages were a common practice in times past. Most of them had good success rates, even better than what is happening now with regard to marriage and relationships in Western societies. Why not marry solely for mere companionship? What's love got to do with it?

Then again, why would you want anything less for yourself? I know I am worthy of someone's true love. Someone to love me just for me, and not only for the benefits of companionship, or worse--someone pretending to like me just so that person can get a little "something-something", if you know what I mean. I want and deserve love. Don't get me wrong, if it suits you to marry for whatever reason you want to marry then go for it. I myself just wouldn't think I would be happy living my life with someone for the sake of just having someone and not for love. However, I know happy couples who got married because they had been "arranged", those who married for the sake of convenience, that crocodile's biological clock, etc. Life is short, they begin to think. Bullsh*t! Life is the longest thing anyone will ever do. Time flies when you're in the midst of pleasure and enjoyment, but can seem to drag on forever when you're not. When you are lonely, you feel depressed, and when you're depressed your whole world crashes. Candy is a sweet lovely girl in her late thirties, 5 feet 6 inches and a body to kill for. No one would believe she does not have a boyfriend (because she does not have only one but a million jk!). She is very picky. This is the reason why she is still alone. She has the right to be picky though. Her parents are doctors and she herself is a surgeon.

I believe that if she really becomes serious about finding a life mate, give a little more grace to those who are seeking to court her, I do believe she will find that "right" guy. She should make a list of what she needs in a guy, instead of always going out with what she wants. There is no one perfect out there. I told her to go out and have fun with the guy even if he is only 5'10", or even if he is a little ugly. Who knows, prince charming might just be the next phone call away.

Beauty (As Deep As Your Skin)

Online Videos by Veoh.com

Online Videos by Veoh.com

Today my family and I did something that we all need to do more of. We got up early and went for a walk around the neighborhood (did some exercise). I just walked in my tennis shoes while my husband pushed our two little daughters around in a difficult-to-push double-stroller. I also cooked something light for lunch and dinner. Lately, I've been trying to cook more fish instead of red meat or any kind of meat for that matter. No more of that fast food junk (trying our best but sometimes we can't help ourselves). We have determined to be foremost healthy, believing that everything then will fall into place. It would certainly be nice to a diet of just bird seeds and rabbit food. What is worse is that when I go out with my sisters, people would say that I must be their mother. My two beautiful sisters are in their early twenties and I am only in my thirties. It hurts me hear mere strangers say that. It just feels as though they are out to get me (Satan is that you?!!). I mean did I do something to someone during my past life so that it is now pay back time?! Just kidding I don't believe in reincarnation or that Satan can get me. He can't. Nothing can hurt me unless God allows it.

Why is it that people who are overweight are automatically considered second class citizens? I pay my dues to Uncle Sam. I bleed when you cut me, I cry when you hurt me verbally or physically--just like those skinny people. To add insult to injury I am so tall (NOT!!), I am height-challenged as well as weight-challenged, hahaha. Don't get me wrong now, I am not as big as whale. But, I do need to lose some weight. I would like to shed those extra pounds the fast way instead of the hard way. I know of a neighbor who shelled out the big bucks for a full-body plastic surgery body treatment. My gosh it was like night and day! One day she was as big as Rosie O'Donnell, then in a few months time she became a living, breathing, walking, talking Barbie doll. NO kidding, she looked damn fine!! It just seems like her fairy godmother transmogrified her from Rosie into Barbie. She dyed her hair blonde, pumped up her breasts to resemble like Dolly Parton (well maybe not as big 36 is more like it), straightened her nose, widened her eyes and permanently attached full lashes, raised her cheek bones, etc etc. Man I could go on and on. Bottom line, she had a complete full-service job done on her body from head to toe! When she greeted me I was like huh? Oh, yeah did I mention who was holding her hand? He was a babe (like Ken), very handsome and built. I looked around me and I was like huh? Are you talking to me? She said yes you silly goose. Not recognizing her for the changes, I was like what who are you. Then, she said Jenny duh. Talking like a true Californian, I was like dude I don't think I know a Jenny like you. Like would you care to explain. Then, later on that night she called me. She told me that after about $100k or so she is a product of what she paid for with her divorce settlement. I was like huh? Donald Trump married you too? Just kidding.

But, there is a sad ending to this story. After about a year's time she lost most of it. She lost her skinny body, she lost the beautiful blonde hair (she can dye it again though), and what hurt her the most she lost that cute, oh-so-shallow Ken of hers. Therefore, through this she and I have learned that physical beauty is only skin deep. What matters is not what is on the outside, for what is essential is invisible to the eye. It is one's inner character that has any objective value. This statement, though a much often-heard cliche, is very true. Yet, in this materialistic world people often step on those who are considered the least of us. Then when the shoe is on the other foot, those same people will kiss the floor walked on by those people who possess characteristics that the world values in high regard.

A friend of mine once suggested to me why not smile all the time. She said, "You smile the world smiles with you, and when you cry you cry only alone." Jesting, I stated that if I should ever cry I will take prisoners with me, drawing the analogy that misery loves company. I was joking, but I know it is great if you can go through life wearing rose-colored glasses. I know, I had a few pair of those broken though. I had a pair broken off from work, when I learned that kissing butt was not my thing. It was difficult playing office politics, you don't know who your real friends are. I had another pair broken after this so-called fiance of mine tore my heart out and did the stomping dance on top of it. Dude, he did not just rip out my heart--he took along some souvenirs--about $10,000 to be exact. But, I trusted that God had better things in store for me. And indeed He did. I met the most wonderful man in the world. We are now happily married for six going on seven with two beautiful girls. The most important thing in this world is family. Love them and treasure them. They are there when you need them the most. They don't treat you like your second class citizens, and they love you regardless of your appearance, or how much you got in your pocket book. They love you for YOU.

That is why being healthy is important too. When you die, the ones that hurt the most are the ones that loved you the most. You don't just live for yourself but for them as well. Once you start eating healthy food and exercising, the pounds will shed off (I am working on this part-crossing my fingers).

Oh yeah, btw, Jenny's husband came back. I don't live in that neighborhood anymore. But, for a recent trip to visit family members that still live there, I saw her holding hands with her husband. They both waved hello to me with smiles from ear to ear.

Being thankful for all of God's Blessings

First let me start off by saying that I am not always happy. Quite the contrary, depression visits me at least once a month. I found out that the secret to being happy was not really a secret at all. All you have to do is be optimistic, be grateful, and thankful with what God has blessed you with. Have a positive attitude towards every obstacle you meet and every trial that you are put through, have faith and hope for a better future. This is very hard to do--as they say, "easier said than done". But, I learned that with practice and perseverance it becomes easier.
I will be the first to agree that most of the joy in my life is free, a blessing from God. I am thankful to be blessed with two smart and beautiful girls--PBJ who is five years old, and Bree Bree who is eight months old. Like most mothers, I love my daughters more than life itself. They are my world. And yes, like many mothers, I too have given up my career to be a stay-at-home mom. I love it but at times it does become frustrating being that my husband is the sole person bringing home the bacon.
We all know that with the real estate market going down the toilet, the price of oil sky rocketing, food and all other things going up in price doesn't help at all(by the way these are some of the elements or ingredients that help developed my depression). Although things might get stressful and pull me down many a time, I have faith that something wonderful is about to come. Like what my husband said," It is not how you begin but how you finish". I know in my heart that we will finish by beating our own expectations. Someone quipped that God never told us that life was going to be easy, but He did say that it is worth living. My husband told me that God will never give you more than what you can handle (apparently we can handle a lot!! :P). If I have to go through hard obstacles, why not face it positively. This Saturday, for example, we were laboriously driving for about an hour trying to find a parking spot at busy Clement street in SF. When we finally found one, guess what, someone cut us off and pulled in that very spot. Well, I'm sure the old me would have rolled down the window and showed him a birdie or two, yelling out a few choice four-letter words. But, as a mother with kids looking at me, I just drove another half hour to find another suitable place to park. I said to myself, "hmm maybe that gentleman (he was no gentleman) had to really go to the bathroom badly or he probably crapped in his pants already--ha ha." I asked myself, what if I did show him the birdie and add a few four-letter words to my kids' vocabulary? What difference would that have made? It would only elevate my stress, the guy reciprocating in kind with a few four-letter words of his own to my kids' vocab list, and my day would be filled with anger. It was better for me and him to just let it go. Did I forget about it? No! If I did I wouldn't be writing about it now. But, I learned to forgive and move on.
Forgiveness is another way to live a happy life. That too, my dear, is very very difficult to do. I don't know about you, but my husband and I both had experienced trauma, drama, and torture from our so-called family members. They belittled us, beat us, cheated us, frightened us, and yes at times tortured us to the point where we felt death would be preferable. I am more willing to forgive than my husband would be. I guess that is why he seems to be more stressed than I am. It could be that my nagging is what is giving him the stress though.
The other night, I asked my loving husband to take out the trash. I being a mother (I use this as my defense a lot, hey if it works why not use it right? ha ha), I have little patience and am forgetful (only things I need to remember). I reminded him to take out the trash every second (from his point of view), but to me it felt like days. In truth it was minutes--heh heh. Before I used to ask my husband to come see something (while he is busy doing his stuff) and he would say give me a minute, but he learned fast--ha ha. Now, when I asked my sweetie hubby to do something, majority of the time he does it instantly. He has patience, I have very little. Patience, that is another trait or we need in order to be happy in life.
My husband said that we act like children when it comes to wanting things. We pray and ask God for something and we want it done yesterday. But, He is not our genie, He is our God and Father. When our daughter would want something, she has to have it now




. "Mommy I want to go to Disneyland", she would say. (BTW would you like to help donate to this fund?). I tell her (like how God tells us),"Be patient. Mommy and Daddy have to save money for it." And did not someone say that all good things comes to those who are patient? To be honest, I really lack patience. But, I am learning. I have to have patience to home school my five year old. She tests it every second of the day, it seems.
This reminds me of the time I saw the episode about the movie/book called Secret featured on Oprah. There was a group of people conversing on the topic of the law of attraction and how the world is your oyster--actually a genie waiting to grant your every command/wish. Like I said earlier, I don't believe that there is a genie out there granting wishes, but rather there is our Father God who blesses as He wills. I believe for personal development and self-help purposes that positive thinking will draw positive results. What I mean by this is that, if we have self-limiting/ self-destroying beliefs we will make a reality of it ourselves (and vice versa). I know if I tell myself I will be a millionaire in one years, then I will be. Not because I said it and it is going to just happen for me because I made the wish. Rather, because I said it, made plans for it, and will work towards it. There are steps involved, and you need to follow through. If you have a great desire why not make a plan to achieve it? Have your mind set to go for the goal! What is there to lose? No pain no gain. Not to mention, think about the gains, and keep your eyes on the prize. Life is short and unpredictable, so why not make it worth your while. Then again, life is the longest thing you will ever do, so therefore, work hard yet play just as hard. Besides, if you are doing what you love then it is all play, baby. For some of you, it may not be financial wealth as a goal, but the riches of knowledge and wisdom, or whatever it may be.
Someone told me that if you are rich you will be happy. Well, that is totally not true. Look at all those washed out, has-been, burned out celebrities and major personalities. Britney, oh my gosh where do I begin and Owen Wilson. They are more filthy rich than most people who admire them, yet they are not happy. Then again, my husband said to me we are rich(of course when he said this I choked and laughed so hard I fell off the chair). He then continued (after helping me up) to say that we are rich with God's blessings. A lot of people have riches (cold hard cash) and others have the true riches (the favor of the Lord, love and the necessities/needs). I joked, and asked, "May I choose which category to fall into?" He countered with a mean face and said "NO" and continued on saying how we have all that we need, and some stuff we want as well.
In closing, I highly believe that life is worth living. If not for me for my sweet little precious babies, my ever so caring and faithful husband, my mingling parents oops I mean loving parents heh heh, my two beautiful and charming sisters, and my little sweetie niece, and last but not least for God.