Being Grateful for the Lord's blessings...

We are blessed in many ways and today I was blessed financially. Well, not much but something. But aside from that I am blessed every day from the moment I open my eyes in the morning to when I laid my head on the pillow to sleep. We go through life real quick. Do you find yourself suddenly in the end of the month yet you feel like you are only in the beginning? What I mean is that you get so caught up with things around you that you loose track of time...I sometime find myself tired and wanting to stop with all that is happening but thank goodness for God...

I am grateful for all that He has provided me with and blessing with lots of love ones who loves me. What I need to do is have faith in myself, my family and most importantly God. To have a positive out look on life and to take full charge on things happening around me and to seek out solutions instead of feeling defeated. I know that there might not be a lot of people reading my post/blog and I get down on that but then when I think about it I am doing this for me. My personal journal of thoughts, and a way to keep my positive strength.

What I am concluding in this is that I am grateful for even the littlest things in life such as my finger nails or a small ant...whatever it is here I am grateful and thankful for to God....Whatever trouble or road blocks you have in your life--stay positive and seek for His guidance and everything will fall into place...We will succeed no matter what if we first believe we can...Smile and charge ahead....

God will right all wrongs

Ah, the sad realities of today! My mom called me to relay me a story from a girlfriend of hers. I will call her friend Nancy (not her real name). Nancy called up my mother today and was crying her heart out. Nancy’s mother, an 80-year-old woman (I will call her Grace) was raped by a group of African American guys. A group of them snatched her up while she was walking around the park on a foggy day. They took her to a secluded area where those animals repeatedly raped her. This happened about a month ago, but Nancy couldn’t bring herself to tell anyone. But, the mental and emotional torture of Nancy’s withering mother has eaten her up inside, turning her into a shell of her former self. After she could internalize it no longer, she had to tell someone, and she felt that my mother was the most trustworthy person she knew. For this reason, I don’t know who she is either, but I kind of have an idea of who it is.

The story begins with Grace being missing for three days. Nancy and her family didn’t call the cops, because it’s an Asian thing (that is what I was told) to be “docile”. They figure she might have gone out and gotten lost so they conducted their own search for her. They separated the family into two groups, but could not find her anywhere. One group was to stay behind at home just in case she calls or comes home, and call everyone they knew. They were also responsible for making prayers and such. The other group drove around aimlessly searching for her everywhere.

Sadly, after three days, they received a called from a friend (Walter). Walter said that he was doing his usual walk that morning in the park and came across a woman who looked like a bag lady. It was Grace -- delusional, distraught, and soaking wet. Grace’s clothing was torn and tattered. Nancy and her husband went straight to Walter’s home and picked up Grace. They took her to a family doctor and had her checked out. As of today, Grace is still babbling and still in a state of extreme shock. At night time Grace has nightmares where she screams out,”Don’t rape me no please I speak no English and I am very old!” Mind you this poor old lady is about eighty-plus years old. Through her nightmares they are gathering pieces of a puzzle regarding what happened to her. Nancy’s family has not and will not ever report this. Like other horrific stories I myself know about and also have had the unfortunate pleasure of experiencing, have gone unreported. Those animals have gotten away with what I call “Murder.”

They say that justice is slow, but it always follows you.

Being thankful for all of God's Blessings

First let me start off by saying that I am not always happy. Quite the contrary, depression visits me at least once a month. I found out that the secret to being happy was not really a secret at all. All you have to do is be optimistic, be grateful, and thankful with what God has blessed you with. Have a positive attitude towards every obstacle you meet and every trial that you are put through, have faith and hope for a better future. This is very hard to do--as they say, "easier said than done". But, I learned that with practice and perseverance it becomes easier.
I will be the first to agree that most of the joy in my life is free, a blessing from God. I am thankful to be blessed with two smart and beautiful girls--PBJ who is five years old, and Bree Bree who is eight months old. Like most mothers, I love my daughters more than life itself. They are my world. And yes, like many mothers, I too have given up my career to be a stay-at-home mom. I love it but at times it does become frustrating being that my husband is the sole person bringing home the bacon.
We all know that with the real estate market going down the toilet, the price of oil sky rocketing, food and all other things going up in price doesn't help at all(by the way these are some of the elements or ingredients that help developed my depression). Although things might get stressful and pull me down many a time, I have faith that something wonderful is about to come. Like what my husband said," It is not how you begin but how you finish". I know in my heart that we will finish by beating our own expectations. Someone quipped that God never told us that life was going to be easy, but He did say that it is worth living. My husband told me that God will never give you more than what you can handle (apparently we can handle a lot!! :P). If I have to go through hard obstacles, why not face it positively. This Saturday, for example, we were laboriously driving for about an hour trying to find a parking spot at busy Clement street in SF. When we finally found one, guess what, someone cut us off and pulled in that very spot. Well, I'm sure the old me would have rolled down the window and showed him a birdie or two, yelling out a few choice four-letter words. But, as a mother with kids looking at me, I just drove another half hour to find another suitable place to park. I said to myself, "hmm maybe that gentleman (he was no gentleman) had to really go to the bathroom badly or he probably crapped in his pants already--ha ha." I asked myself, what if I did show him the birdie and add a few four-letter words to my kids' vocabulary? What difference would that have made? It would only elevate my stress, the guy reciprocating in kind with a few four-letter words of his own to my kids' vocab list, and my day would be filled with anger. It was better for me and him to just let it go. Did I forget about it? No! If I did I wouldn't be writing about it now. But, I learned to forgive and move on.
Forgiveness is another way to live a happy life. That too, my dear, is very very difficult to do. I don't know about you, but my husband and I both had experienced trauma, drama, and torture from our so-called family members. They belittled us, beat us, cheated us, frightened us, and yes at times tortured us to the point where we felt death would be preferable. I am more willing to forgive than my husband would be. I guess that is why he seems to be more stressed than I am. It could be that my nagging is what is giving him the stress though.
The other night, I asked my loving husband to take out the trash. I being a mother (I use this as my defense a lot, hey if it works why not use it right? ha ha), I have little patience and am forgetful (only things I need to remember). I reminded him to take out the trash every second (from his point of view), but to me it felt like days. In truth it was minutes--heh heh. Before I used to ask my husband to come see something (while he is busy doing his stuff) and he would say give me a minute, but he learned fast--ha ha. Now, when I asked my sweetie hubby to do something, majority of the time he does it instantly. He has patience, I have very little. Patience, that is another trait or we need in order to be happy in life.
My husband said that we act like children when it comes to wanting things. We pray and ask God for something and we want it done yesterday. But, He is not our genie, He is our God and Father. When our daughter would want something, she has to have it now




. "Mommy I want to go to Disneyland", she would say. (BTW would you like to help donate to this fund?). I tell her (like how God tells us),"Be patient. Mommy and Daddy have to save money for it." And did not someone say that all good things comes to those who are patient? To be honest, I really lack patience. But, I am learning. I have to have patience to home school my five year old. She tests it every second of the day, it seems.
This reminds me of the time I saw the episode about the movie/book called Secret featured on Oprah. There was a group of people conversing on the topic of the law of attraction and how the world is your oyster--actually a genie waiting to grant your every command/wish. Like I said earlier, I don't believe that there is a genie out there granting wishes, but rather there is our Father God who blesses as He wills. I believe for personal development and self-help purposes that positive thinking will draw positive results. What I mean by this is that, if we have self-limiting/ self-destroying beliefs we will make a reality of it ourselves (and vice versa). I know if I tell myself I will be a millionaire in one years, then I will be. Not because I said it and it is going to just happen for me because I made the wish. Rather, because I said it, made plans for it, and will work towards it. There are steps involved, and you need to follow through. If you have a great desire why not make a plan to achieve it? Have your mind set to go for the goal! What is there to lose? No pain no gain. Not to mention, think about the gains, and keep your eyes on the prize. Life is short and unpredictable, so why not make it worth your while. Then again, life is the longest thing you will ever do, so therefore, work hard yet play just as hard. Besides, if you are doing what you love then it is all play, baby. For some of you, it may not be financial wealth as a goal, but the riches of knowledge and wisdom, or whatever it may be.
Someone told me that if you are rich you will be happy. Well, that is totally not true. Look at all those washed out, has-been, burned out celebrities and major personalities. Britney, oh my gosh where do I begin and Owen Wilson. They are more filthy rich than most people who admire them, yet they are not happy. Then again, my husband said to me we are rich(of course when he said this I choked and laughed so hard I fell off the chair). He then continued (after helping me up) to say that we are rich with God's blessings. A lot of people have riches (cold hard cash) and others have the true riches (the favor of the Lord, love and the necessities/needs). I joked, and asked, "May I choose which category to fall into?" He countered with a mean face and said "NO" and continued on saying how we have all that we need, and some stuff we want as well.
In closing, I highly believe that life is worth living. If not for me for my sweet little precious babies, my ever so caring and faithful husband, my mingling parents oops I mean loving parents heh heh, my two beautiful and charming sisters, and my little sweetie niece, and last but not least for God.